


For as long as I'm needed.

by TimeTest



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Brother Feels, Cute, Loss, Love, M/M, My First Destiel Fanfic, Sad, Separation Anxiety, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 09:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1545698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeTest/pseuds/TimeTest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Castiel collects the Angel Tablet, Dean is upset and going through separation anxiety. Would Castiel's return be expected given Dean's current predicament?</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	For as long as I'm needed.

"Fuck," Dean's voice broke, as he slammed his fist into the wall. How could Castiel do this to him? 

Again?

Why does he keep letting this celestial being back into his life with open arms? It wasn't fair. Cas took the Angel Tablet. He betrayed him..

  


He ran his fingers across his jaw. Cas healed him before taking off, but the ache was still there. Especially in his chest. He knew it was over between his angel and himself, but he didn't want to believe it.. Not yet. He flopped down on his bed, kicked off his boots, and closed his eyes.

  


A door opened and closed. He felt the end of his bed sink down, but he didn't open his eyes. Sam eyed the hole in the wall next to the mirror that hung in the bathroom, and sighed.  
'I know you feel like you can't open up and talk to me, but I know what's going on with you and Cas,'  
Dean opened his eyes, and looked down at him.  
  
'I'm open to talk about it whenever, if you just want to let it all out on me,' he insisted.  
  
Dean grunted and rolled onto his side, away from Sam, who waited patiently. 'I haven't seen him in months, and the first time I do, he almost kills me,' Dean clenched his teeth, and traced his fingers around his marked shoulder, 'it's not fucking fair. I'm supposed to be his, and he never comes around anymore. I'm not good enough. I'm too broken, fucked in the head.. fucked-' his voice broke again, and he sniffled.

  


Sam rested his hand on the side of Dean's foot. 'You're broken, but you can be fixed, it'll just take elbow grease, and a _lot_ of hamburger grease.'  
  
'I don't want to be fixed. I just.. I want _Cas_..' Dean curled up away from Sam, and his breath hitched. Sam crawled up behind him, and pulled him into his arms. Dean tensed up, and then relaxed into his brother's embrace.

  


. . .

  


Morning broke, and Dean felt his brother's arm still around him. Sam stayed with him all night, huh.. At least he has him.  
He untangled his feet from the sheets, and got up to pee.  
Boner. Jeez, that would have been awkward. He made himself a coffee, and sat out on the hotel porch.  


  


'Cas,' he breathed.  
Castiel was standing in front of him in the car park, next to his Impala. 'Dean.. I wanted to tell you personally that I'm truly sorry for what I did back there,'  
Dean opened his mouth, but Castiel held up his hand. 'I think it would be best if I didn't come back, at least not for a while. It's unhealthy for both of us.'  
  
Dean stood up, and started walking over to him. 'I don't want that! I need you in my life, Cas. You're what I live for.. You're my everything. Why can't you get that through your head?'  
He gripped on to the side of Castiel's trench coat. 'We can work this out, you know we can.. Just please give me another chance. Please.. Please..,' his knees gave out from under him, and he knelt at the angel's feet, still gripping his trench coat.  
  
Castiel looked ahead, and noticed Sam standing in the door way. He gave Sam a look of anguish, and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. 'I have to go. I don't know when we'll see eachother again..'  
  
Dean looked up with tears in his eyes. 'Please don't-' Castiel shook off Dean's hands, and flew away. 'please don't go..' he whispered, and crumpled to the ground.

  


Sam walked over, and put his arm over his back. Dean struggled to stand, and clung onto Sam's waist, as they walked back to the hotel room.  
  
He put him to bed, and pulled the covers up around him. 'I'm going out to get us some food. I'll get something to cheer you up.' Dean heard the door clunk and a key turn in it. He pulled his legs into his stomach, and started sobbing.

  


As Sam was walking, he noticed Castiel sitting on a bench waiting for a bus. He sat down next to him, and Castiel didn't look up.  
  
'I'm sorry for hurting your brother, Sam.. It's not that he's broken, or not good enou-'  
  
'Oh, so you heard that part,' Sam interrupted. 'You heard how you shattered him, and all you're going to do with this information, is leave. Again.'  
  
Castiel sighed. 'I.. I love your brother, Sam. He's everything to me. There is just bigger things at this moment to be concerned about, and being around Dean would only cloud my judgement. We need distance to save heaven, and lock the gates of hell.'  
  
Castiel stood up, as the bus came around the corner.  
  
'But why couldn't you just tell that to Dean?'  
  
Castiel looked back at Sam thoughtfully. 'I don't think he'd understand, and even if he did, I don't think he would listen.'  
He nodded his head, and stepped onto the bus.  
  
Sam watched it leave with him, then he turned and entered the store.

~~~~A few months pass~~~~

Sam left a day or two ago to take care of a small ghost problem in one of the towns near the base. Dean took the time to get his head straight and ready for an upcoming battle he could see on the horizon with more demons, as usual. He'd never been one for the reading, but he found himself pouring over old books in the library they had.  
  
His eyes were getting pretty heavy, so he stopped and looked at the clock. Past 2am.. He scoffed to himself, and put a mark in his book and turned out the light. 

  


He stirred in the darkness, and ran his hand over his bare chest, and under the waistband of his boxers. No.. Cas was.. _Cas_ was sliding off his pants, and running his fingers up his thigh.. _Cas_ was gripping his cock tightly and stroking it slowly. 'Cas..' he breathed, his hand moved faster, and his breathing got heavier..

  


Pressure..  
  
Pressure on either side of his waist.  
  
His eyes snapped open. He fumbled on his night stand and flicked open his lighter.  
  
'..Huh..?' Dean was dumbstruck. Castiel's eyes flashed in the light of the flame.  
  
'I heard you,' he glanced down, 'calling for me..'  
  
Dean said nothing. He just stared at his angel, wondering why his mind was playing horrible tricks on him like this.  
  
Castiel started unbuttoning his shirt. Dean could see how hard he was through his pants. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and before Cas had his shirt off all the way, Dean grabbed his tie and pulled him into a kiss that seemed to last a lifetime.  
  
Castiel's taste.. The way he moved against him. The scruff of his stubble against his own. His scent.. Everything was overwhelming.  
  
He dropped his lighter onto the floor. It faltered, but didn't stop burning, letting off just enough light to see his angel's flawless face.  
Cas managed to get himself naked without breaking the kiss.  
  
His hands rolled over Dean's hips, and up his ribs as he trailed kisses down to his cock. He knew this body just as well as he knew his own.. Every scar, every muscle, his tattoo.. He was perfect.  
  
He teasingly licked off the precum, and watched Dean's eyes break contact as he arched backwards into the pillows. His tongue twirled along the tip of his cock, before continuing down his shaft, and taking him all the way in.  
  
He swallowed around his cock, and Dean let out a moan, rolling his hips forward to meet Cas' mouth.  
  
He ran a finger over Dean's ass. In time to his mouth, and Dean's thrusts, he slowly entered him, pulling back, only to press deeper inside him. Dean's hands came down on his shoulders, pushing him up.  
  
'Fuck me, Cas.. Please.. I need you inside me,' his voice was thick with lust.  
  
Castiel looked up, and smirked. He loved making Dean beg.  
  
He leaned over Dean, and opened his side drawer. Dean heard a lid pop, and a squirt as the lube was poured into Castiel's hand. He ran his hand over his cock, and along Dean's ass once more. He aimed himself up, and Dean felt it throbbing against him. He pushed his hips down, letting Castiel slide inside him. He let out a moan, and his lips caught Castiel's mouth.  
  
He dug his fingers into the mark on Dean's shoulder, restraining him. His other hand wrapped around Dean's cock, and he started jerking him off in time to his deep thrusts. He nuzzled into Dean's neck and let out a moan.  
  
Dean started rocking into Castiel's hand and came. His muscles clenched around Castiel's cock. He held onto Dean's hips and thrust into him , releasing into his ass. He lost his rhythm and collapsed beside Dean.

He lay next to his angel, trying to catch his breath, when a rush of anxiety hit him. He turned and wrapped his arm around Castiel's waist, and kissed the side of his ribs.  
  
'Please stay with me tonight.. I need you.'  
  
Castiel nodded, and ran his fingers along Dean's back. He shivered and closed his eyes. The flame had burned itsself out on the floor, and Dean's breaths became drawn out and heavier.  
  
Castiel sighed, and slowly slipped out of the bed.

. . . 

Dean woke up dehydrated. He stretched his arm out expecting to feel a body there, but there was nothing.  
  
His eyes flashed open, and he sat up. The room spun as he got out of bed. He shakily slipped on some boxers, and stumbled down the hallway, his fingers running along either side of the wall to keep himself from falling over.  
  
He turned the corner towards the main door, and was hit with the smell of coffee and bacon.  
Castiel made him breakfast.. He leant against the wall he stopped at, slid down it, and smiled to himself. 

'I wasn't certain on how to make these, but they seem to have come out alright,' Castiel pulled out a chair for Dean as he got up and walked over to him. 'If it's not to your liking, I can go down to the store and get some already cooked food for you.'  
  
Dean looked up, 'Cas.. Shut up.'  
  
Castiel opened his mouth, then closed it again, and watched Dean eat his breakfast.

Sam opened the door and walked in just as Dean had finished his breakfast. 'Oh hey, Cas!'  
  
Castiel looked up and gave Sam an awkward smile.  
  
'Nice to see you again. How long are you with us?'  
  
Castiel looked back to Dean, and they locked eyes. 'For as long as I'm needed.'


End file.
